Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Sarah's Life | 1 Year.

07-04-18 marks 1 whole year with my Craig.
"Every once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale"

In 3 days me and my boyfriend hit the big 1 year mark! *does a happy dance*
Races Night seeing the Kaiser Chiefs May 2017      |      My cousins 18th Birthday Party June 2017

I am as a person very cheesy and very lovey dovey. I am also very very impatient, which is why this blog post has appeared 3 days before the actual anniversary haha! Some of this blog post is going to be a big massive block of cheese in blog post form, mushier than a tin of mushy peas and to be honest, mainly just for me to celebrate a year with my boyfriend and as something I can look back on and smile at in the future. If you're not into mushy posts, I highly recommend you log off now and don't read any further because loooooord am I going to get mushy and you may throw up! But if you do decide to read it, I hope that you enjoy it. :) (but do make sure you have a bucket next to you, just as a precaution...)

Before Craig I'd had some truly awful relationships and been in some very toxic situations with boys and as a result of that, all trust I had in men was gone, my self confidence was at rock bottom and all faith I had that I was going to find someone was shattered and I just came to the conclusion that all my life was going to be was me, myself and I.

Craig is someone who I've known of for 10 years. I never actually knew him, but I knew who he was and I was aware of him. He's someone I had worked alongside and seen in the corridor every week for the past decade but never actually spoken to. I thought he was really good looking, but I always thought he was SO snotty! He's a very confident lad and very very chatty, you would always seem him chatting to all different people all the time. Over the years he spoke to a few of my friends, but I would get blanked. It got to the point where I would be in the corridor with 3 of my lad mates who he knew from the gym and he would chat to them and not even acknowledge I was there! Because of that, I knew him as the gorgeous but snotty lad from the other company haha! I just thought he really didn't like me at all. He does know this as well. Turns out he wasn't being snotty, he was just shy around me! Something I never thought I would say about Craig!

I was on overtime one Saturday and so was he. That day he came over to speak to someone on my team he knew. He mentioned his Fitbit he had gotten for Christmas and I got brought into the conversation because I'd gotten one too. I heard my name and asked what they were talking about and Craig just stood there like a rabbit in headlights and blurted out "FITBIT!" (I am howling thinking back to this!!), and then I went on to ramble to him about how I didn't like mine and when I was at the gym it didn't record my steps properly and all this random stuff while Craig just stood there looking a bit bewildered.  He then just mumbled something, said something to the girls and shuffled off. Great conversation Craig! Haha!!
Before he had came over we had been talking about my none existent love life (a favourite topic of conversation on my team on a daily basis!) and afterwards one of them was like "Oh Sarah I think Craig would be lovely for you!" I was a bit confused and said to the girls that he definitely hated me and they were like don't be silly! Then the same girl was like I'll have a chat to him! I just went into pure panic telling her not to because it was pointless and I'd just end up embarrassed, what 31 year old gets their mate to go and talk to a boy for them?! But when she has an idea there's no stopping her. So for the next few weeks I was going into work every day wondering if she had spoken to him or not.  A few weeks later she said she had pulled him aside and mentioned to him that she thought he should ask me out. I was not happy one bit, why had she done that! He hated me and now I was going to look like an absolute idiot! Thanks a bunch! Another few weeks went by and he still hadn't mentioned anything. I had seen him a few times and he seemed a bit friendlier but nothing drastic, just the odd hello and carried on walking past, so I just came to the conclusion that was that, he hadn't been interested, and forgot about it.
Then on 24th March at precisely 2:10pm (I remember this because it was just before I went on my afternoon break), I'm sitting at my desk having a heated debate with the lad sitting opposite me about the film Face Off (for the record I hate that film and he loved it, I was not happy). I get the fright of my life when Craig comes over and plonks himself down on the seat next to me. He still to this day laughs about my face and how much I jumped when I turned around and saw it was him and not the lad who normally sat there.
It didn't go great I'll be honest. He introduced himself as if we had never met before which I thought was hilarious, "Hi I'm Craig..." to my response "erm yeah I no..." and then for a good 10 minutes Craig rambled on about how he had spoken to Tracy and she had said what a lovely, funny girl I was and she thought he should ask me out. Half way through his speech though, a fella he worked with came over and sat with us. The fella just sat there looking at us waiting for Craig to finish what he was saying. I genuinely thought he had come in to watch Craig ask me out and probably went the colour of a plum, but turns out he just needed some help on work and had no idea what he was interrupting haha. What a way to spoil a moment mate! When the fella had scarpered, poor Craig just looked mortified and apologised and then gave me an origami bird he had made with his phone number on and asked me out on a date in front of my whole office! All I could think was oh my god this lad has got some balls!! And is this actually happening! I couldn't believe he had actually just asked me out! With an Origami bird! In front of my boss, and everyone I work with!
1st date hair, makeup & Outfit - 7th April 2017
3rd date outfit April 2017 & 4th date and our 1st picture together April 2017 :)
I was terrified, convinced myself he had only done it because Tracy told him to and he didn't actually like me that much. I was scared to put myself out there again, scared of being hurt again, and intimidated because he had a well posher voice than me haha! And I put off texting him until the Sunday night two days later, aaaand he never responded. I felt so ashamed! But then 2 days later he text me back saying he hadn't seen it. Turns out he is a complete technophobe and there was probably a better chance of reaching him by carrier pigeon than on his mobile phone! He barely used it, and it's like something from 1991, it doesn't even have a camera on it haha! After that initial text he promised me he would change and he actually started using it more and more each day. After two weeks of texting we met up and on the 7th April, and with me absolutely crapping my pants, sulking about not being at Ladies Day and dosed up the eyeballs on Beechams thanks to a rotten cold haha, we went on our first date and went and played Crazy Golf in Jungle Rumble in town and went to the Roxy Ballroom for a few drinks.

That's the night my life completely changed.
I'm not going to sit here and say the beginning was all plain sailing, it wasn't. The first date was amazing, I was a smitten kitten straight from the get go. The first half an hour I was so nervous, which meant my mouth worked faster than my brain and for some reason I decided 20 minutes in to randomly start a conversation about Jessie J grabbing her lady bits in the Do It Like A Dude video and repeatedly saying the word vagina, which Craig found absolutely hilarous. I think I was a bit delirious from the Beechams haha. It was the best date I have ever been on though. He made me laugh so much, there wasn't a single awkward silence, I felt so comfortable around him and he made me feel like I had a million butterflies trying to get out my stomach. It seemed like we had only been out an hour or two and suddenly it was 1:30am and we had to call it a night as he was in work at 7am the next day. I told him so much that night and was so open and he told me all kinds too, I felt like I could tell him anything and I felt like we got really close really fast and after just a few hours, I felt like I had known him for years. I won the Crazy Golf as well, which I was extremely happy about! He put his cardigan around me when we were walking for a taxi because I was cold and he put his arm around me as we walked to the taxi rank and for this first time in a very long time, I felt sparks flying everywhere. I was so excited, but also really scared. I had let my guard down before and got extremely hurt, I didn't want it to happen again.
We arranged our second date for a week later and went into Southport and went bowling, on the arcades and for food. The second date was a bit of a disaster. The week leading up to it I had been so giddy telling everyone how much I liked him. He had left a flower he had made on my desk the morning after our date and when I went in on the Monday morning and saw it I was like an excitable teenager (I still have it now on my mirror in my bedroom), but then on the day of the date, halfway through I basically went into the state of mind where I convinced myself that I didn't like him, certain things were annoying me and I cut the night short. I made him feel so awful to the point where he went home and comfort ate a whole tub of ice cream and I went home and told my mum that I wasn't going to see him again. I basically freaked out half way through and then put a wall up through fear of being hurt again and made up stupid excuses for not seeing him again like his voice annoyed me or he was too nice, none of which were true. Despite the 2nd date disaster, he still carried on texting me every day and trying to get me to go on a 3rd date, which I dodged every time it was mentioned and eventually he just asked me outright if I wanted to see him again or not because he really liked me but he hated games. I was honest and said I wasn't sure and he said to go out with him one more time. If I didn't like him or want to see him again after it fair enough, he just wanted one more chance. I thought after him chasing me for a week and a half and him actually being open and honest asking me what was going on which is so refreshing these days, I had to give him one more chance, so I went. And it was the best decision I ever made. I went into that date convincing myself it was a waste of time, and as soon as he walked towards me while I waited outside the Alma de Cuba, I literally turned right back into that smitten girl I was on the first date. He looked so gorgeous and once the date got going, I just couldn't believe I ever had doubts, and that's how I've felt ever since. We had the best night and I haven't had a single doubt since that he is the one for me. In all honesty, I knew it half an hour into the first date. But damage from past relationships made me guarded and the fear of being hurt made me nearly throw away something so special. I'm so glad I didn't end up letting fear stop me from being happy.

Overnight stay at Leasowe Castle & a day in New Brighton June 2017

BBQ in Otterspool July 2017

Log Cabin July 2017

The last year with him has been the best year of my life. In so many ways it's been the worst but him being in my life has outweighed any bad that's happened. I've lost friends, I've lost two jobs, my mum's health has really deteriorated causing major changes in our family and household and my dad had a health scare but through it all, he's been the light I needed and he has always been there to make me feel like everything was OK. He hugs me and I feel like I'm safe from anything.

We've done so much and been through so much together in such a short amount of time. Some of my favourite memories from the last year are the little things we have done together like walking along the beach together chatting about nothing, or having a BBQ down at Otterspool.  Along with those times, we had an amazing New Year in the Lakes, we went on our first night away together to Leasowe Castle and had the best weekend of my life, we climbed Snowdon, we went on the funniest weekend away to a log cabin which we will always remember as 'Tarmac Weekend', we have been to theatre shows, cinema experiences, gigs, the zoo, parties, museums, seen Blackpool lights, saw the Coca Cola truck roll into Liverpool; We have just had so much fun together no matter what we are doing. Let's just not mention the Chinese New Year celebrations though shall we... haha!
We're not the perfect couple, we don't agree on certain things and sometimes our views on situations are different, we argue from time to time and get ratty with each other (mainly when it's a certain time of month and I'm hormonal), but we get each other, we bounce off each other, we fancy each other rotten, and we laugh together every single day. We have formed the best little team together and I love it.

Climbing Snowdon September 2017
Pumpkin Picking October 2017  |  Chester Zoo November 2017
Coca Cola Truck December 2017  |  Polaroid from our first Christmas together December 2017

He is so kind, caring, generous, funny, silly, stupid, honest, sensitive, sentimental, and unapologetically himself and I love everything about him. He goes out of his way to make sure I'm OK, always puts me first and just treats me like an absolute queen. Not to mention he's got the most gorgeous smile ever and I just think he's so gorgeous. (His legs are also GREAT!) He dances with me even though he has no rhythm at all, he duets with me in the car to cheesy pop songs, we have so many little private jokes that we laugh our heads off at day in day out, we teach each other new things and open each other up to new experiences all the time, he puts up with my road rage like an absolute pro, he would happily freeze to death and give me his coat even if I have one on just so I'm not cold, he carries my handbag for me because it's always so heavy and he doesn't want my arm to ache, he walks on the side closest to the road so he is closer to the cars, when I don't like my food he gives me his and he eats mine instead which come on, is that not just husband material right there?!

New Year in the Lakes December 2017

My Birthday celebrations January 2018

Our first Valentines February 2018

I always used to try and explain to my mum what I wanted in a lad and I thought the person I described just didn't exist, but Craig is absolutely everything I wanted. He is the most loyal person I have ever met, he has morals you don't find in many lads these days (honestly watching things like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea make me realise exactly how lucky I've got!), I trust him more than anyone in the world and he's so respectful. It feels good to be in a relationship where you never have to question anything, you aren't panicking he is talking to someone else and you aren't arguing like cat and dog every day. He stands up for himself and isn't afraid to voice what he believes in, he always has my back and he tells me every single day that I am beautiful. He has helped me become the person I used to be again, and he has helped me be Sarah again. I lost myself along the way and became a person I didn't really like, but he has brought the old me back out and everyone tells me all the time. Even a team leader I had pulled me aside and told me that since I had been with him, the old Sarah had come back. He has done more for me than he will ever realise. He has helped me to be comfortable and confident in the person I am and not ashamed or embarrassed to be myself. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Here's to many more years laughing through life together. 

My Dad's Birthday meal February 2018  |  Delamere Forest March 2018

"The best kind of people are the ones who come into your life and 
make you see the sun where you once saw the clouds.
The People that believe in you so much that you start to believe in you too. 
The people that love you, simply for being you. 
The once in a lifetime kind of people." 

I finally found my lobster.
Scrag 4eva! I.D.A.T ;)